keeping yourself busy in this world and in your own world, makes you forget better. waves of anger, hatred, poignancy and broken sceneries, they rushed through me like how tidal waves wash.

i will stop saying words i could never meant it, i will stop making promises that no one bothers to keep, i will not remember anything if memories could be forgotten so easily, i will never take meaning in anything because it loses meaning in time to come.

like rachael yamagata croons,

i'm not gonna live for you
or die for you
won't do anything anymore for you
cuz you leave me here on the other side
you leave me here on the other side

not gonna shed one more tear for you
shed one more tear for you
i'm not gonna shed one more tear for you

it is funny how rachael yamagata could sing my heart out.

ouch.
i could be happy
but you wouldnt know.