well, i'd try.

... i couldnt find the words that i want to speak and maybe i am hardly allowed to speak because there are people are who are scrutinizing me then again, in fact i dont give a fuck about it, if they have to read about it, then let it be. i mean it'd be good if they'd start from CARING & LOVING for that one person that they are trying to read about than starting on me and maybe they will start to be better parents.. people. and oh, people do do away with biasness for boys.

ok i have so much to say ok, i had a second date with "giselle"on monday. ( the one in white duh!)


sigh she really has the most amazing eyes ever and i'd just want to look into them forever! it was a great date i think i'd just leave the details to myself before anyone spasms (looks at cheryl) but i am sure alot of people would want to hear this little juicy gossip.
"giselle".. i'd put it in this way, she kinda rejected me because she has someone in mind and she was so frank and truthful in her words, and i really thank her for that. at least she's truthful and she sticks to what she wants, she's so much more than anyone could ever want.

i think i might just found her. the kind of girl that stays almost forever, the kind of girl that loves you and goes right back home to you at the end of the day, the kind of girl thinks that seclusion amongst lovers is okay, the kind of girl who wont even mind staying at home for the whole day catching dvds. she's so real, so real that her eyes tell you that life's so bitter. i think i have so much more to learn. she works & fends for herself, she has a house of her own, she has a car, she has 5 dogs & 3 cats, she has a job & she is studying. till this point, are you impressed already?
wait till you talk to her. no she's no rich beauty, she's a hard working cinderella! i feel ashamed already. ya like, who are you to even try to go after her! (and you'd definitely know what house you need to have to have so many animals in your house!)

(but i think i am still going to stick around) she intrigued me so badly, i just want to bring her home to mama. i hate to say this, but i want her so badly! she is like a rare specimen that i want to own. then again, i am not ready for it, because firstly she's much older than i am and besides after dating carrie whos only 23 is not enough. (and "giselle" is much older than carrie) and i dont know what to do with older women and they intrigue me & intimidate me as well.

argh, i am going to end this subject, i am getting frustrated as i type in i realize i havent seen alot. it makes me younger than i feel that i am already.

so "a midsummer night's dream" was still on last sunday with carrie! it was a not-bad thing for me although i have yet to read the text but it was quite funny! i dont want to be an idiot and try to discuss things like how they play was interpreted. so we had a really long talk and i really love talking to carrie.

talk talk talk talk, i love talking gosh, and i was talking to jasmine & huilee about goals in our lives and how his brother is so impressive and to tell you the truth i was fucking impressed and i think i need to have a better life than what i have now. everything just fell into place talking to them because i just needed a push i guess..

they are true about how one should plan their life ahead and even doing family planning! how one couple should plan in the first head and work towards their goals for whatever they want. sigh i always had goals & objectives, but someone would come along and smash them and now i remain goal-less floating away like a driftwood.

but two thing still remains,
1) i am still going to be a nurse
2) at 30, backpacking in asia

i am going to look for a job & look forward now.

and i am about to be a child sponsor of a child in mexico or costa rica.