buses and trains

i thought i was going to die of hiv/hepatitis or whatever blood borne transmitting diseases because i took myself for granted thinking that blood wouldnt spilled at all while removing the drip and i didnt even have blue sheet or gauzes with me, only the stoppers for both plug and drip. how naive and complacent, blood spilled all over my hands and i was really stunned because i saw fresh blood staining my hands and i felt my stupidity all over again. after settling all the trauma, i quickly washed my hands more than 5 times with so much antibacterial soap that my hands are coarse. i was so scared that the patient might have some hiv/hepatitis virus and i quickly flipped the notes and realized she is just a patient waiting for abortion. not to be skeptical, but my senior had blood on her hands and few days later the blood on her was a hiv positive and she had it because of some micro cuts that you could never see but luckily there was a vaccine i think. i was really scared that i stuffed like 3 pairs of gloves in my pocket and i think it has severely reminded me well.

not as if cruelty of life hasnt remind me of anything, i am not a girl not yet a woman who has an undergoing education, who has no driving license and not to mention wont have a car (failed basic theory twice, shut up already), who has no money (okay maybe a little), who has a very ambigious future, who has dreams of being a nomad and a wandering spirit, a-girl-not-yet-a-woman who perpetually sticks her ipod into her ears even when she is with her friends and i dont know, very eccentric. and i do understand why girls would never look into my way because i cannot provide security, luxury or security or security or i just cannot provide anything and i am too tiring to be with, just like you try catching wind and before you 吃风(jiat hong, eat air), you 放屁了(fart already).

but i really like walking so much because that is one thing i am damn good at after running (i hate running) i am really good at brisk walking, because i have been trained to lead big groups in brisk walking like really quick thats why my friends hate it when i walk endlessly like bringing them through chinatowns, or i would want to walk from cineleisure to hard rock cafe and walking is really therapeutic and it is free better than your car (with erps, parking seasons, car insurance, petrol, cash card, car installments?! i dont know, is there more?) seriously i rather spend it on 花车 (hearse) kidding, i rather spent it on a cab i get to be the boss ..

1) uncle, aircon 开大大 (turn up the aircon)
2) uncle, 我要听987fm (listen to 987fm)
3) uncle, 不要讲话，我要听railio (dont talk, i want to listen to radio)
4) uncle....

i can pay the cab drivers and i often tip them with the changes and i picked jill up from home to a party with a limo, i mean how cool is that? cabs are like cheapo but they are a good deal and i am not saying i would splurge on cabs because i still prefer buses and trains and cabs are of last resorts when i am late or i am feeling so lazy but it would always be because i am lazy hence i am late :) anyhow my analogy is of a cab to a car, not monetary challenge more like a par on. but i know having a car is an important gauge for luxury and authority and it is a confirmed shoo-in for girls and this part i lose already but it doesnt mean i dont like car rides from friends ok. (love you all) 我爱我的朋友们!

i have always asked my friends if they would date themselves and most of them would go like, nooooo i am disgusting .. but i would always be confident enough to say yes i would date myself because i know i would want to date myself and i dont want to list out a bunch of vocabularies to describe myself and i might just start a flaming session on my tagboard hee 你知我知就好了!( you know i know can already) actually if only there is someone out there who behaves, think or act like i do who is completely dramatic and just hopelessly annoying but annoying in a cute way :)

i have to admit, appearance do come first but hand in hand with a certain factor that draws me to them i cannot explain this factor because it really goes with a gut, i like anything that is beautiful (to me at least, who cares about your opinion!) but if you are just a face without anything else like especially wit, sorry, audition's over. i know i sound a little conceited and i know i am not that peculiarly cute (but still cute i think) and i know i have more so much more inside and my friends are always,

handsome and beautiful people never had personalities but God is fair, God gave you personality man!!!!!

so annoying, really. 不用绕一圈来shoot我嘛! (no need to beat around the bush)

anyway i am a gemini rabbit.