a long-due post

i know, i am sorry i havent been blogging religiously because everyday is a torture for me and i dont know where is my mind, soul & heart. gone with the wind, perish as dusts. i mean there are people who are angry with me, upset with me, bearing a grudge against me, who doesnt care about me and i think (sheryl l, if you are reading) the cards are right and i certainly need another reading.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNICE!
23/05/07

(24/05/07 pirates of the caribbean, it was so long, i felt asleep when calypso turned into crab or smth)

photos from eunice's 18th birthday party!

(warning, pictures are just gore like saw and for those who are interested in eunice, sorry this is just going to be sore for you but dont worry, eunice can still be yours.)

(there are more people than in the pictures like 20 of them in a terrace house)

so eunice is a happy happy girl with her birthday because she knows that she has many many friends who love her and cherish her like mad dog wuff wuff! and she is happy to smoke with her ciggs without fearing getting caught! LOVE YOU EUNICE TAN!

to passerby: sorry, no eyes of giselle. in fact i havent seen her for a week in school at all and i think she has a girlfriend already. you know you kinda skip school for girlfriend.. i guess? and i never really had an intention to ask about it.

i kinda missed her, but never really had an intention to text her or call her to tell her that.

so 21st may, it was her birthday as well. braved my heart, and sent her a text but as expected she would never even budged. this should make her parents proud because her parents have succeeded into having what they hope to see and there you go, celebrate or smth.

honestly sometimes i depise her so badly to a point that i thank the highest heaven that we broke up because i would never want to be with someone whos so weak in her own defense and unable to stand up to herself and for herself. she might be star tracker since she is swelling good in running away. obviously she will never give me the closure that i ever need but i am fine i know i am going to be fine.


i am actually missing my classmates! they are so funny! i promise to go school very often and i will just study my ass in school till late.


i have gained like probably 78234783428734 kg after this week! i have been eating and eating non stop non stop non stop like mtv's non stop hits! i ate macdonalds like no tomorrow, i go for supper like fat never existed, and i just mahjong-ed very little & lost like 7 dollars to yishun?! (its a name for a person, not a town or smth) I NEVER LOST THIS MUCH BEFORE, ok got, when i was like 16 or 17 but 7 dollars, ok fine it isnt that much, call me auntie or smth but 7 dollars can buy two bowls of bak chor mee!

ok i am not going to tempt myself any further.

i am just someone who lost her ability to love & to resist temptations and only today i realized how evil temptations are, but there are certain degrees to it, but obviously i have been tempted to the maximum and regretting is not in the choice anymore. i think i might be losing friends or a friend that i love so much, i have no words to offer i have nothing in fact because in my defense, i am speechless & all tied up. i wish i could try to explain things but maybe somehow someone else would able to tell you things. i am going to allow time to do it.

i love you.
i am sorry.